What is right?

Who are we trying to impress? Why do we try so hard? What’s funny about this is now as I am writing, is I keep saying we. I guess I am hoping I am not the only one out there who thinks this way, and if I am then I apologize for throwing you in my boat.

It is an interesting journey though. I know God has a plan for us and that He won’t give us more than we can handle, so I guess that is why I am still here and still trying. But it is hard to rationalize with yourself. We know what is right and what we should do, and for some people it is as easy as doing it, but for others it is a daily battle.

Nobody is perfect, mostly me yet I try so hard to compare myself to this image. Did it come from our parents? Teachers we had? Family members? Who knows, and to be honest who cares. Is it going to help us get better? Will it help us accept ourselves for who we are?

No, that is all up to me! I think too many people hold on to the past and try to use that as the reason why they are the way they are and can’t change. I am not saying that people who were sexually abused, or physically abused don’t have a right to be really angry and by no means deserved it, but isn’t it up to us as adults to choose a better path? Blaming our parents, which is easy and I have done so at times, doesn’t help us get better. We need to know where we came from so we can see who we are, but we shouldn’t let it make us who we are, we need to do what is best and start taking responsibility for our decisions.

I have made plenty of mistakes, I am not preaching like I am perfect, trust me. You know how they say if we could go back to high school with the knowledge we have now . . . that is so me. I would love to go back and tell that guy who broke my heart that I don’t need him or any other guy to make me whole. Or how about the popular girls that never made you feel like you fit in? I was different and I am different, but that is who I am. I love the movie Peggy Sue Got Married, or Never Been Kissed with Drew Barrymore, why? Because that strikes a nerve with those of us who are ‘not OK’ because we would love to do the same thing and get it right. But really, would we get it right? Who says what is right?

I want it my Way

I love television, music, magazines, books and just all the modern conveniences that we have. I love that I can work, but I don’t let that take me away from my first priority, my family. I love my family, but sometimes I buckle from the pressure.

Why do we feel like we have to be everything to everyone? That is enough to make anyone go crazy. Be the perfect wife to keep him happy (and the in-laws as well), be the perfect Mom, and your parents, and you definitely don’t want to screw your kid up. Be the perfect employee to keep the boss happy, be the best boss so the employees will respect you. To be nice to the teachers at my kids school so they think you are a good parent and involved in their lives, involved with the PTA so they think you are taking an active role in your kid’s life.

We have to wear so many different costumes to the world, how does anyone know who we are, and how do we even keep up with ourselves? At some point it is time to just be “not OK.” Of course it is, we aren’t perfect, the only person who ever was is Jesus. We won’t ever be perfect so we need to embrace our quirks and our problems and have realistic expectations. Wow, if you really knew me you would know what a far stretch that is for me to say. I always want everything perfect, no surprises, do everything myself and my way. But that is unrealistic. You can’t have everything your way all the time, it doesn’t work that way.

Some days I don’t even want to get out of bed, and if I do, it is hard to get to where I am going. It is a battle in my head so I have to basically talk myself into going. I now know that I am not the only woman who goes through this. After having years of simply not being able to live my life I knew I had to do something, but doing it was hard, because you have to admit you are crazy in a way.

Who wants to look in the mirror and REALLY see who you are? I know I didn’t and in a way I still don’t. What is the image we should see? Hollywood has given us these visions of beauty that are impossible to replicate. How come when we turn 40 our bodies don’t look like Demi Moore’s? I must be doing something wrong. My stomach isn’t flat and I can’t get it that way.

I am not saying she had plastic surgery, but wouldn’t it make us ‘not ok’ folks feel better if she did. I mean then we wouldn’t have to try so hard, we would know it wasn’t something that could be achieved without it.

She is my goal, she is who I compare myself to, I mean WOW she looks great, but how does she do it, and why can't I?

Real is what?

But that is what is real. That is the show I want to see so we have less of a perfect image to look up to. A real person with baby fat, or just over 35 with a gutt pooching over the pants, and some wrinkles with makeup smeared. That is who we should look up to.

To be able to look good while doing what ‘normal’ folks do, now that is impressive. I would love to see a hidden camera in those television cooks kitchen. I can just imagine it now, frozen dinners, take out and I just know they have a pot holder hanging with those fancy pans above the stove for when company comes over.

Is there anyone out there like that for us to look up to. The only instance I can even remotely remember is Jamie Lee Curtis when she did a magazine ad and wore a body suit and didn’t allow them to touch anything up. That is real, but did or would any of us do that? Of course not, that would mean we aren’t perfect and don’t have a body ‘that won’t quit.”

We have to be happy or better yet at peace with what we have and what we look like. Most of us, if not all, can't afford trainers, nannies and cooks to keep us fit and sane. So to look at those stars and beat ourselves up is not fair, we look good, we work hard and need to recognize that. So I will try my hardest to not cry when I look in the mirror and notice the flap under my arms waving at me, or the pooch that won't go away and be who I am, AMEN.

Welcome to life as we know it

What is OK? The dictionary says “in good health or condition,” good condition . . . is that what we are reduced to? I thought about naming this ‘everyone has a little crazy in them,’ which is true if you think about it. Maybe I am saying that just to make me feel better, but we all know it is true (ok you should be nodding your head up and down right now).

Each of you think about it, do you sit there at times and wonder if you are sane? You know thinking about the grocery store, bills need to be paid, the house is a mess, laundry has to be done, your kids need help with homework, dinner has to be made, your skin is sagging, your boobs are moving south with your butt, and the list goes on and on. And during all of this, you question your sanity. Am I right?

Weather it be not wanting to leave the house, staying away from home, anger issues, sex issues, shopping issues, addiction issues, it can be so many different things that make us a little crazy, but we must learn to embrace it.

Who said we had to be OK, or that what we are isn’t? It must have been a man. I mean even back in the early days everything was even harder for women. They didn’t have any of the modern conveniences we have. Of course they didn’t know any better at the time, but they must have had the same issues we have today and then some.

Can you imagine, our whole life would be the family and the kids 24/7. We would have to dress up in skirts and petticoats, wake up early and make breakfast for the whole family, clean the house while keeping a smile on your face, iron all the clothes, make lunch, dinner, entertain guests, keep the house immaculate and basically fill every need for the family from sunup to sundown. Not that I don’t strive to do the same, but gosh all this and without television?

I love these shows on today where they have folks like Rachel Ray and Martha Stewart whipping up gourmet meals in the cutest little outfits, hair just perfectly done, makeup perfectly applied and the kitchen is impeccable. Now flash back into real life, the one not on TV. We don’t have nanny’s, housekeepers, personnel chefs, assistants and personnel trainers to name a few helps they have.

We cook what we can the best we can while doing laundry and helping the kids with homework. Hair is up in a clip, makeup is half off, and sweats or shorts and a t shirt is as good as it gets.